Why don't Sikh men marry divorced women?

You will be amazed to know the incredible reason. Manpreet Kaur was 27 years old when she got married.  But the marriage did not go well and Manpreet Kaur returned to her parents' house within a year.  It's been 10 years since Manpreet Kaur's divorce

Why don't Sikh men marry divorced women?

And she has met 40 Sikh men wanting to remarry, but no one has agreed to marry her.  Because she is a divorced woman. When I was leaving my husband, he shouted, "If you divorce me, then you will never be able to get married."  He knew it could happen.  I knew that too.  In the Sikh community, divorce, especially for women, is considered very bad. I was ashamed of myself.  I felt like a dirty and used woman.  I wondered how I would deal with other men when he knew I was used.  Other people in the community reinforced that feeling.  In London, my grandmother said that I should have celebrated my marriage, even though she knew exactly what I was going through.  My father's family in India had a similar reaction to my divorce. Although my parents helped me one hundred percent but I felt that I had hurt their trust. I rarely left home for five years, but after 2013 I started looking for a husband again.

Why don't Sikh men marry divorced women?

When I ask people to find a relationship for me, they happily fill in the blanks and start asking questions about how old I am, where I live, where I have worked, but as soon as I tell them  When I am divorced, their facial expressions change as if to say that we cannot help you.  He would often end the conversation by saying that we would tell you. My marriage was somewhat arrogant.  People used to tell me I was getting old and pressured me, so I enrolled in the marriage register of a gurdwara in Southhall.  She went to write her name in the marriage register of a gurdwara.  I knew that the Gurudwara would introduce me to the men of my caste even though caste was not important to me.  But what I had no idea was that I would only be introduced to divorced men. As soon as the Gurudwara volunteer saw my information, he told me that these two are divorced, they are suitable for you.  But I have seen divorced Sikh men get acquainted with virgin Sikh girls in at least two gurdwaras.

It is as if men cannot be responsible for divorce. I asked Mr. Grewal, in-charge of Hansloo Gurudwara, why it was so, and he replied that it was not my decision, but that of men who wanted to get married and their parents.  Mr. Grewal told me that he would not accept a divorced woman because if we follow our Dharma, there should be no divorce in the Sikh community.  There are divorces.  According to the 2118 British Sikh Report, 4% of Sikhs are divorced and 1% have separated.  There are some Sikhs who admit that they are divorced and remarried but I am sure that most people hide it because it is a cause of disrepute. Young people tell me that  Divorce is not a big issue for them.  But people in my generation who have divorced their sisters and daughters also have a bad opinion of divorced women outside the family. People say something to me: You are old enough to have children.  You have passed away, now it is difficult for you to find a husband, you are too late, whatever you find, just get married.  I am actually 38 years old and I am not old enough to have children.

Why don't Sikh men marry divorced women?

This is actually another kind of prejudice.  Many times I was told, Manpreet, it will be difficult for you to find a husband in UK, it is better to try in India. Once my mother talked to her friend's son about my relationship, he said to my mother, your daughter is a  It is the abode of the wrecked car.  I admit that I have made things difficult for myself by betting only on a turbaned Sikh husband.  Hansloo has a population of 22,000 Sikhs, half of whom will be men, and a few of them are of marriageable age and very few of them wear turbans. The turban is very important to me, the Dharma is also important which says that  In Sikh Dharma, men and women are equal and we should not form opinions about others.  I don't want to meet men who want to spend some time with you, not life.  But I don't want to meet men who think of women as just a housewife and ask in the first meeting, 'Cooking also comes.' I am a free-spirited person and I am looking for a lifelong partner.  Last month I met a man through a friend.  This also proved to be an old story. He himself was 40 years old but he is looking for a woman who has no past.

After meeting about 40 men in the last ten years, I have begun to think that I can accept a Sikh without a turban or even a non-Sikh husband.  Many of my friends have already taken this step. I am telling my story in the hope that I want to help end the stigma of divorce.  Maybe it will encourage women like me to speak up.  If women are stuck in an inappropriate marriage for fear of the stigma of divorce, they should never do so and must get out of the situation on their own.  We too are human beings and deserve equality.